I mean c’mon.

12am

Ummm.  This baby belongs to a girl who is 6 years my junior.  I used to be her swim coach when she  was 10.  It was hard enough for me to grasp that she got pregnant at 19.  She was always 10 to me and shy and quiet and catholic.  But this, this is just blowing my mind.  Also, the dirty bowl at the top.  Growl.

12am

wilmay:

these are amazing: NIKE AIR TECH CHALLENGE HYBRIDS

i need these.

What he said!!!

Via

2am

I miss Sixlets.  They were one of my favorite candies as a kid.

1pm

And this was the business card he handed me.  I can see my future.

FUTURE MOTHER-IN-LAW:  What about music for the reception, have you hired a band?

ASHLEY:  I got it under control Fmil, I got The Homeless Patrol.

5pm

I paid my fare and Joseph asked make a donation to help the homeless.  I gave him my last dollar.

5pm

Umm, and this is the iPod dock that Joseph had secured in his cab so riders can play their iPods.  Joseph mentioned that I should remember to “bring mine next time” so I can play whatever I want.  He had been playing some ambient new age Enya’ish music the whole time. This cab ride had gone from cool to kinda creepy.

5pm

We were crossing the bridge when Joseph mentioned the bowl of candy he had secured in the back.  I acknowledged it and told him again how cool his cab was.  He reminded me again that he hadn’t had a fare in 2 hours.  Then the conversation went like this.

JOSEPH: Where you from?

ASHLEY: Michigan.

JOSEPH: Oh yeah, how many husbands can you have over there?

ASHLEY: Huh, uh, 5.  One for each of the Great Lakes.

JOSEPH: (silence)

ASHLEY: What about you where are you from?

JOSEPH: Here.

ASHLEY: Oh really, where do you live in the city?

JOSEPH: I’m homeless.  I sleep in the cab.  I haven’t had a fare in 2 hours.

ASHLEY: Huh.

JOSEPH: So you work at Rodeo?

ASHLEY: Uh huh.

JOSEPH: You got a mechanical bull there?

ASHLEY: No we don’t.

JOSEPH: You ever hear of a Ron Jeremy saddle?

ASHLEY: Nope.

JOSEPH: Yeah, you know Ron Jeremy right? Yeah, so it’s a saddle with, uh, the horn is like his dick and you can have a bunch of orgasms.

This is when I started to freak out a little.  I stopped unwrapping the LaffyTaffy I had selected and texted my friend the cab # I was in.

4pm

Joseph Kastner taxi 5H11.  This cabbie had the coolest cab.  I thought, at first.  Covering the TV was a magazine rack like cardboard box thing where riders can exchange their magazines.  I can’t read in cars but was thankful for the TV being covered as that often makes me a little nauseous.  Joseph was a real comedian.  His sense of humor was like this.

JOSEPH:  The 59th street bridge…I don’t know if I know that one…that’s the one that goes over the water, right?

ASHLEY:  Uhhh, yeah, that is correct. (awkward silence)

4pm